I. The Wasted Land
90 seconds won’t make you lose a seat at Swan Lake Depot but it will make you miss the Muni.
How did I get so lucky to have you, fam?
Roller coaster sidewalks
“I won’t let this one go
down the Kearny steps to China Town.”
I caught a glimpse of Coit Tower
and the Fog Market
the Churchkey beer just like home
Caffe Trieste
Writing in the writing bar where the writers are writing a writing class.
and then we got in a brawl.
I’m still mad at smokers leaving
chem trails on our
leaves of grass
but I look for forgiveness
in my piles of dust
It was a boom town, Frisco,
until the crowds moved on
they move from place to place
pestilence leaves with a flourish.
They had a skylight but now it’s a Brooklinen,
the old meditation center
Please step back from the yellow line edge
I’m worried but it’s not possible to die by suicide by Muni
“I met you at an odd time in my life.”
The street car with no roof sails like a boat.
His T-shirt reads “Semetic”
Sycamores and coconut trees I shit you not
She wonders who still teaches there
“I’m sure we all moved away to San Mateo
or Austin Texas.”
pollinators on the clovers
snowy plovers
(if you know you)
As I sit in the window of Vesuvio looking in the window of City Lights
I wish I had persisted
I quit on myself a quitter,
like an acquittal
only not
and nobody dances anymore
it’s not good for you.
I’m an angry artist
not a guru or saint
my fascia have been through so much
and I’m too young to grow the fuck up
and too old
Her hair as ruby red as her Docs
and I wish it was me kissing her
The Wasted Land
. . . . . . . flourishing
Paradise regained
I’m every bit as beautiful as him
He said, “I think your dress would look better on me.”
Music:
I got a chance to be young before I get old
and I got ta take it.
II. August San Francisco / July New York
“I don’t believe in unsupported chapasana and I don’t believe in looking at Instagram when there’s a view to see out the train window.”
God loves quiet people. The quiet shall inherit the earth.
Who put that idea there?
I might know some things they don’t
I might know something they don’t.
It’s not my purpose to save her,
but she’s me.
“Who couldn’t you save?”
III. The Future / The Present
I think I see a hint of fog,
the first glim over the heights
Not Bernal but
the Good Vista or the Crown
Maybe I’m ready to take on more responsibility
You helped me when I was sick
and my mind numb
I might be ready to take on more now.
A 2 bedroom on 6th street dream.
We never dream of anything more than
a 2 bedroom on 6th street.
Empathy is knowing when
someone else’s needs
align with yours.
Anna climbing Sutro Tower in a dream is a vista into another branch of the multiverse.
People. Planet. Peace.
Theories: By virtue of being bad at math, they created me, an AI, to see if I could become human.
Theories: Life/consciousness exists to give gut bacteria all of our experiences of being alive.
She created the multiverse simulation herself to share her whole life to prompt enlightenment.
Someone else called me Jesus Christ long before I had a Messiah complex.
IV. August 18, 2024
I wonder, did Allen Ginsberg piss on this toilet? Was this the toilet Neal Cassidy threw up in? What drugs did Jack Kerouac dispose of and what gems?
It’s as if the pictures in the hall changed. Chess players who weren’t there before. “Writer’s paradise,” she’s afraid to write in the guest book.
“Maybe they’re multi-congregational — how do you say? Multi — multi-dimensional, multi-denominational — because one had a priest’s collar.”
“The night ministers? They walked up here?”
“Yeah, I thought they were going to get him.”
If the beds had been here since 1950 they would be rusted, iron disintegrating. That was 74 years ago.
Cole Hardware. Bagelry. Pinzeria.
“But gentrified with old people,” she smokes up the night street.
Tupac on a rainbow light scooter bike wearing an alien mask.
Fuck you Ferlinghetti, it’s all love. I’ll tell you my city lights story one day.
Now was that real? The moves she has, she’ll never know.
I’m so sorry I spat a hock of toothpaste on Larry Ferlinghetti, it feels like a greater transgression than any they wrote about. (Liar, it was Ginsberg and only a small flick. A tear of toothpaste, an infintessimal drop. Nobody’s mad.)
V. Monday, August 26, 2024
Art is a reason for being.
There’s not enough daylight and we have places to be.
“I wouldn’t turn down that street,” Gough and Colton. Colton says to Gough, “I wouldn’t turn down that street.”
“We didn’t break up. We’re both like, we’re too lazy, I think, to get somebody else.”
The shoes of the raptured.
“When things go bad, get out.” Do I have anything to add about the raptured in San Francisco? I was surprised to see the remains in the street, green sneakers on Valencia, or was it black rockstar Keds on Clementina street, or both?
Don’t write anything that won’t help somebody. Don’t write a single word unless it will help.
Leaving, we’re coming to the Stockton Tunnel. We’re at Stockton and Sacramento.
I wish people wouldn’t look at me when I’m doing something esoteric, I wish people wouldn’t look at me when I’m cultivating energy on the bus, I wish people wouldn’t watch when I’m being inscrutable, being enigmatic — or that they’d get inspired instead, do Tai Chi down the airplane aisle, white crane spreads its wings to playing the pipa, you will learn to break Chuck Norris’s arm the way Bruce Lee did. I’m only stretching, nothing to see, I’m not so unorthodox, you don’t need to stare at my enigmas, and just because I avoid your eyes doesn’t mean I don’t feel them bumping against the black spots still stuck in my energy field. Look away.
Introverts should talk to themselves. (Ourselves.) If we don’t, how will we ever practice?
The sparkles on the blue water are where I cried last time. Tested and proven, you remember my name. I would never have destroyed her, she’s just a bubble you could see through. Wish I could be too. Couldn’t see through the lattice of the leaves, me or you?
Been doing this all my life. They’ll say “Welcome to New York”
like you just got here yesterday. Me or who?
They always say be yourself. Just once I wanta reply,
Which one?
God put me on this earth to teach people
Bathrooms are a human right.
Datta Dayadhvam. Damyata.
Shantih Shantih Shanhtiiy.
